HOME
E-CARDS
WALLPAPER GALLERY
LOVEBUG STORE
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL
|
|
HOME |
E-CARDS |
WALLPAPER GALLERY |
LOVEBUG STORE |
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL |
|
|
Relationship ArticlesNeed advice on dating and relationships or tips on turning up the romance in your marriage? You'll find all kinds of helpful information here about love, romance, and relationships. |
Beware of Becoming a Professional Online Dater
Every year, hundreds of thousands of people find their "perfect match" through online dating services. And every year hundreds of thousands more become discouraged from their experiences. One of the contributing factors to those who have problems with online dating is the emergence of the "professional online dater", a term coined by Online Dating Magazine to describe a person who acts serious about finding someone, but without the intention of taking any date or relationship "too seriously" because the next match "may be better." A professional online dater usually possesses three or more of the following habits: > Communicating with more than six people at the same time. > Member of three or more online dating services at the same time. > Relists profile within 24 hours of a relationship breakup. > Lets several communications just "end" in order to put time into new communications. > Checks messages and dating services several times a day. > Always believes that the next match "may be better". > Several times a year will have more than one date, with different people, set up in a week. > At the first sign of trouble in a potential relationship, lets things break off to return to online dating. > May hide profile, but doesn't delete it, when steadily dating one person. > When returning from a date, immediately checks mail for new messages from others. Generally, a person doesn't consciously say "I want to become a professional online dater" then pursue it as a life goal. It is something that develops as a result of the person's online dating experiences. He/she sees how "easy" it is to get a new date and is introduced to new faces virtually daily. Before the person knows it, he/she is communicating with half a dozen (or more) people at the same time. When a date is arranged with one person there are still six prospects waiting in the person's Inbox when he/she returns from the date. This, in turn, starts to develop a subconscious mentality that the next person may be "better," therefore it is easier to leave a relationship or dating experience at the first sign of trouble rather than work through those problems. A professional online dater will generally 'hide' a profile versus deleting it when entering into an exclusive dating relationship. Subconsciously, the person isn't truly giving his or her 100% to the relationship because they have formulated an easy escape route back to the planet of dates. Professional online daters, without realizing it, are having a negative effect on the people they come in contact with during their expeditions. For example, a professional online dater may be writing seven people at the same time, when another new interesting prospect shows up. In turn, the professional online dater allows communication with one (or more) of the other seven people to suddenly stop, leaving that person without answers and wondering, "where did he/she disappear to?" The other problem professional online daters bring to online dating is their lack of true commitment. They may have three, four or even more relationships a year. The relationships are generally short-lived and the professional online dater has a new date lined up (with someone new he/she met online) within several days of a breakup. A person who possesses three or more traits of a professional online dater may not want to admit that he/she is a professional online dater, but doing so is the first step to solving the problem. Other steps to solving the problem are: > Completely delete your profile(s) when entering into a relationship. There's no looking back, only forward. > Commit yourself to your relationship with a strong determination to work through the problems. Working through issues in a relationship is what helps people to grow. Running away is not the solution. > If you stop communicating with someone, don't do it cold turkey. At least send that person a polite note so that he/she knows why. The person will respect you more for this. > Find one online dating service that you like and stick with it. This isn't a game to see how many new people you can communicate with. Every person you communicate with is a real person with real feelings. Don't lead them on. > Only communicate with a small number of people at a time. > Don't fall into the mentality of "the next one might be better." Instead, focus on the person you are with and know that they are "the best". Then make it work. Professional online daters unintentionally hurt many people during the course of their "adventure". But perhaps what's worse is that professional online daters hurt themselves because they never learn to work through relationship issues that produce long-term relationship success. Luckily, with determination, professional online daters can change and when they put the same intense focus on a relationship (like they did with online dating) then the relationship generally turns into an amazing and long-lasting experience. And that produces another success story from two people who met online. Joe Tracy is the publisher of Online Dating Magazine (http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com) and editor of the Online Dating Newsletter (http://www.onlinedatingnewsletter.com). Online Dating Magazine provides authoritative insight into the world of online dating while the Online Dating Newsletter focuses on dating advice and romance tips to help build better relationships.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Soul Mates - Finding True Love and Commitment Finding your true Soul Mate is something that many people hope to do. We all long for that one special person in our lives to make everything wonderful. Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Prevent a Break Up The question I am asked most often is: I think he/she is getting ready to leave me. What do I do? There isn't an easy answer for this or there wouldn't be any break ups. Why He Left Me After...? The next morning he /or she is gone.And because this is a man's privilege, I'll try to give some answers to the women. Relationship Red Flags Do Appear Early On So often in the bloom of a new romance we set aside a few "minor" character flaws to let the relationship continue, where sometimes we really should just end it early, and cut our losses. I'll make a list of a few of the ones that often come up. The First Ninety Days A friend of mine recently commented on the amazing number of romance novels written and the huge amount of money being made in that industry. He then shared his observation that these romance novels don't usually tell their stories beyond the first ninety days or so. Are Men and Women Really from Different Planets? Are men really from Mars, and women from Venus?'what women want,' is still left unanswered to men. Even when we reflect upon the 2000 film, What Women Want - lead character, Nick Marshall (played by Mel Gibson) seems to have all the answers. Honesty Accepted - Deception Denied We've all done it at one time or another, or will do it sometime in the future. Regardless of when you do it, just remember you will get caught eventually and when you do, you cannot bury your head in the sand. Relationship Conflict: Lock Horns or Lock Arms One of my favorite comic strips growing up was "The Lockhorns." Not so much because it particularly funny (although it was), but because it seemed like a great model for how not to do love relationships. The Sting of Infidelity Isnt that Bad! Right? Is it? 1. Sleepless nights are part of a victims' experience and they have countless reasons to toss and turn. 27 Characteristics of Loving Men Every woman dreams of meeting that special man that knows how to fulfill her heart's romantic desires. Speaking of that special someone; is your special someone a lover or just an average Joe? No pun intended if your guy's name is Joe. Want To Strengthen Your Relationship Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk - say what's on your mind. Calling Forth a Soulmate How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. Relationship Advice - 10 Ways to Put Sizzle Back in Your Relationship It seems that no matter how much we love someone, and how deeply we are committed, keeping the sizzle alive in a relationship takes a little work. Here are ten ways you can help ignite the flame that was there when you first got together. Romantic Tips - Gift Giving I believe that we have all heard of the standard romantic gifts. Chocolate, flowers, and jewelry, but there is something to be said for the man who thinks out side the box when gift giving holidays roll around. The Healing Power of Forgiveness People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness issues in their lives. When we hold negativity in our energy field, inevitably it expresses itself as physical disharmony or bad health. Relationship Conflict: 5 Deadly Mistakes and What to Do Instead While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes--Celebrity Romance Actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are having a hard time convincing people of their sudden hot and heavy romance. In a poll taken in New York City's Times Square, over 2/3 of the respondents believed that the Cruise and Holmes romance is a publicity stunt due to their upcoming movie releases (Cruise's War of the Worlds and Holmes' Batman Begins. A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement It's all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. Jewish Dating: It Pays to Date Other Like-Minded People Searching for the perfect mate can be one of life's greatest challenges.After all, forever is a long time. Coping with Your Difficulties in Yourself Ashleigh Brillant once said""Coping with difficult people is always a problem, particularly if the difficult person happens to be yourself."Can you identify with this statement? Often, when things are not going well, we wonder what the problem is.
|
|
.jpg)
