HOME
E-CARDS
WALLPAPER GALLERY
LOVEBUG STORE
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL
|
|
HOME |
E-CARDS |
WALLPAPER GALLERY |
LOVEBUG STORE |
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL |
|
|
Relationship ArticlesNeed advice on dating and relationships or tips on turning up the romance in your marriage? You'll find all kinds of helpful information here about love, romance, and relationships. |
Learning to Trust Again
Eleven o'clock on a weeknight I found myself phoning a man whom I'd recently met. We had been talking regularly and I just wanted to hear the sound of his voice. No answer. After four rings his answering machine kicked in and I hung up. How strange. This man made a point of staying home during the week in order to get up at 5:00 a.m. for work. "Call me any time before midnight," he had suggested. "I'm usually reading or listening to music." There could only be one explanation - another woman. I'd met him through a phone dating system. Obviously he had made a date with someone else and at this very moment could be in her arms. I stalked back and forth in my living room. Why had I expected him to be different? Just because he was punctual and said he "really really" liked me didn't mean that I could trust him. The next evening he called to say that he'd fallen asleep early. The phone had jarred him awake at eleven but there had been no message. He still sounded annoyed. "Probably a wrong number," I said quickly. Good thing he couldn't see my face, because I could feel my cheeks flush. That was when I realized that I had an issue with trust. Of course it takes time and experience to get to know someone - but I'd been quick to jump to conclusions. I took a long, hard look at my life. I claimed to have no luck meeting suitable men over the age of 40 and none of my relationships lasted more than a few months. Why? Looking back, I realized that I had chosen men who were unavailable - either physically (separated by distance) or emotionally. Deep down I believed that men could NOT be trusted. Upon further reflection, I saw that my belief could be traced to feelings of betrayal in a long-ago relationship - the disillusion and let down I had experienced in so many ways by the man I'd married. In the years following my divorce I had dated men with charm and charisma, who were also unreliable or unpredictable. I just wasn't attracted to serious, responsible partners - they seemed boring by comparison. I poured my energy into my career and creative work and largely ignored my here-again, gone-again love life. What had changed? With time I grew tired of relationships that were going nowhere. I decided that I wanted to meet an honest man with integrity, someone I could truly respect and appreciate. I also decided that I'd rather remain happily single than be with anyone who didn't fit the bill. That decision opened the door to a different kind of relationship - one based on friendship and trust. How about YOU - are you ready to trust again? Here are some ways to tell:
What I discovered is that I don't need to trust a man as much as I NEED TO TRUST MYSELF. That is, to know that I am strong enough to leave a relationship that isn't working for me. To do this, I need a high level of self-esteem and I must be used to treating myself well. Moonlight and roses just don't cut it for me anymore - not if that's all there is. Copyright © 2004 by Thelma Mariano About The Author Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people's lives. See her on-line coaching programs, articles and column at http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Relationship Quiz - Copasetic, Caution, or Conundrum? This quiz is based on key areas of communication and intimacy in relationships. The easiest way to take the quiz is to print it, so that you can circle your responses and add up the results. Relationship Advice: Words Can Hurt or Heal "Stick and stones, may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."Remember that little rhyme from childhood?It's wrong. Ounce of Prevention "To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during a fancy ceremony, but how many people actually think about what it is that they're saying? How many people commit to living those words? Complacency is one of the biggest enemies of any relationship, and it takes constant effort with both parties to avoid it and stay 'happily-ever-after'.Once an affair has occurred, it's far too easy to lay the blame on the guilty party, but in truth, it takes two to tango, or in this case, three. Great Relationship Advice: How to Get "All A's" in Couples Communication Mark Twain once said that he believed it was "God's great cosmic joke on humanity when He required men and women to live together in marriage."When it comes to couples trying to communicate with each other, I believe old Mr. Sound Seduction Advice for Dating and Romance Success BackgroundSeduction is a subtle tool used with the ultimate goal in mind of attracting and having sex with a chosen partner. Seduction is a form of flirting, but is more ambitious in its means, fulfilling our desire for sex and companionship. Proper Flower Etiquette Flowers are great gifts for practically any occasion, but there are some basic rules of flower etiquette. With the popularity of ordering flower delivery online, some buyers may not get the sound advice they'd get from a local florist. What You Should Know About Domestic Abuse What is domestic abuse?There are many forms of domestic abuse, ranging from screaming threats to pushing and shoving. Contrary to what many women think, abuse isn't just physical battering. Love and Life Lessons Recent events in my life have taught me that the best thing to do in any situation is just to love people. How can I be a better friend, a better Son, Brother or Sister,etc. Is The Internet A Miracle Cure For Loneliness? A few years ago a surprising survey discovered that people who spent a lot of time on the Internet were a lot lonelier than people who didn't spend much time on the Net.This was an unexpected find because many people view the Internet and e-mail as a great way to make and keep connections with other people. 3 Stone Diamond Rings - Three Times As Nice! It is said that the stones in 3 stone diamond rings represent the past, the present and the future. Just as a couple unite these things when they join together in marriage, so three stone diamond rings represent perfectly all that has made each partner what they are today, the present moment that they share, and the future into which they now walk together. Relationship Habits How many of you have ever been involved with a significant other who wanted you to do something you didn't want to do? I doubt that I'm the only one. By virtue of a significant other relationship, there will be times when our partners will want us to do things we don't necessarily want to do and conversely, there will be times when we will want our partners to do things they don't want to do. Why He May Be Cheating On You Why He May Be Cheating On YouThere could be all sorts of reasons known only to your man, but there are also those reasons in which women may contribute to, such as: You Let Yourself Go, You Lost Yourself In Him, or You Have No Ambition along with many others. Sometimes women live for their men. Should I Give Up Me To Not Lose You? How far can you afford to bend your values to preserve your relationship? How far can you go in giving yourself up to avoid losing your partner? How much of yourself can you afford to sacrifice to not lose someone you love? How do we find the balance between maintaining our integrity and bending our values?Most relationships require us to bend to a certain extent, but how much can we bend without a sense of loss of self?There is an inherent paradox in these questions: A truly loving relationship is a relationship where each person accepts and even values the differences between them. If you have to excessively bend your values to preserve the relationship, what are you preserving? You are not preserving a loving relationship since love does not demand that you excessively bend your values. 20 Tips to Keep Love Alive Have you ever been at a loss to think of something special that you can do for that special someone in your life? Maybe you want to do a little extra for an important event, like his or her birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, or anniversary.Here are some excellent tips and ideas of some special actions that you can take to help keep love alive in your life. You CAN Improve Your Relationship It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. It's as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Typecasting, Candice Bergen and Family Relationships I'm experiencing some challenges in my relationship with Candice Bergen.I recently started watching Boston Legal on Sunday nights, because Candice Bergen had joined the cast. The 4 Deadly Mistakes of Wife Seduction When a guy gets turned down over and over again (during the seduction process) in his relationship with his wife (or girlfriend) he often attempts to make adjustments. You are about to learn the 4 deadly mistakes guys make when attempting to correct the problem with their "not in the mood" female partner. How To Seduce A Woman The Right Way Gentlemen, if you really want to seduce a woman the right way, you have to make everything revolve around her. Everything!The seduction starts long before you get into bed together. Dating Women From Russia: Important Tips The Marriage Agencies Never Tell You I want to share with you information that the Russian marriage agencies don't tell you on their web sites.Many of the dating agencies tout, how young Russian women are so family oriented and will make wonderful wives and family partners. Hunter and Gatherer Deep down, we haven't evolved as much as we would like to believe. Like the caveman, we still want to curl up next to someone during the dark of night so that we aren't so alone in the cold survival game.
|
|
