HOME
E-CARDS
WALLPAPER GALLERY
LOVEBUG STORE
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL
|
|
HOME |
E-CARDS |
WALLPAPER GALLERY |
LOVEBUG STORE |
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL |
|
|
Relationship ArticlesNeed advice on dating and relationships or tips on turning up the romance in your marriage? You'll find all kinds of helpful information here about love, romance, and relationships. |
Relationship Advice: Why Brad and Jen Broke Up and What We Can Learn from Them
It's been a few months since the riveting headlines: The Dream Couple, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston broke up. The fall out from this celebrity break up is still plastered all over the magazine headlines. Parade magazine recently took a poll asking for the number one celebrity shocker of the year. And who'd-a-thunk-it, Brad and Jen's breakup was the number one rated celebrity shocker of the year. How could this be? This is the dream couple who have everything going for them:Money, fame, fortune, looks, glamour, celebrity. How could this happen? Because fame, fortune, looks, glamour, and celebrity do not sustain a relationship. A good fit and a good connection make for a sustainable relationship. What Makes for a Good Fit? So what makes for a good fit? Just three things are needed to make a good fit - requirements, needs and wants. For a relationship to work and be sustainable long term, there must be a good fit between the requirements, needs, and wants of the two people. Requirements Simply stated, a requirement is "a gotta have." A requirement is a deal breaker. The relationships will not work if this is not present. There is no room for compromise. For example, if one person wants children and the other one does not, that's a deal breaker. You cannot compromise here because you cannot have half a child. If you are not sure if something is a requirement for you, ask yourself this question "If I was with Brad Pitt/Jennifer Anniston, and everything else was great, but this one thing was not there, would the relationship work?" If the answer is no, then it is a requirement. If the answer is a serious yes, then it is a need. Needs Needs are similar to, yet different from requirements. Needs can be negotiated. There is room for compromise and negotiation. For example, if you have a strong desire for time alone, you can negotiate the what, when, where of alone time. There are two types of needs, functional and emotional. Functional needs are things that need to happen in a relationship, like saving money, keeping the house clean, or having sex three times a week. Emotional needs are something you need to experience to feel loved by the other person, such as security or appreciation. Wants A want is the gravy in a relationship, the icing on the cake. Wants are things that make the relationship fun. Most people become attracted to each other based on wants and desires, and needs and even requirements are ignored. In a successful relationship, there is alignment between the wants and needs of both people. An alignment of requirements and needs between two people is what makes for a successful and happy long term relationship. And all the glamour, good looks, fame and fortune of a Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston won't be enough if the good fit is not there. Jeff Herring coaches singles and couples to live the life they love with the love of their life. Jeff is also a speaker and syndicated relationship columnist in newspapers all over the world. For more tips and coaching for your relationship, and to sign up for the free weekly internet newsletter "Great Relationships Tip of the Week" Jeff invites you to visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Being Mindful of Your Mates Space SOMETIMES I'LL ask a couple I'm seeing in therapy to do the following exercise.1. Attraction vs. Love When we first meet someone, regardless of the way or medium that we meet, we are either attracted or not. Attraction, when pursued, eventually grows into levels of friendship and then may cross the barriers we build up, to protect ourselves, and grow into love. Getting Out... Together So many things in society today try to urge us to focus on the "self", with the "it's all about me" attitude. As couples, or companionships, perhaps we should concentrate some of that "me" energy on "us". Does Age Matter? In the Asian online dating world it is not uncommon for a older gentlemen to marry a younger lady. If you ask why this is the case, you'll get a varied amount of comments. E-Love at Easter - Part Two The next week was a whirl. The first quarter of the year was ending. All About Soul Mates 1. How do I know when I've met my Soul Mate?There will be an instantaneous familiarity, a recognition, and an innate understanding and connection from the beginning that cannot be described logically. 7 Things You Must Know About Women Most men find women mysterious and confusing. You find us difficult to figure out. After Retirement Separation - Life Just Gets Better! Life after retirement separation can be a very lonely one especially if you have no family of your own. You tend not to go out as often as you did when you were a couple. Think INSIDE the Square to Keep Those Love Fires Burning I was sitting in my sanctuary in my back yard contemplating the world's mysteries and minding my own business when a fellow neighbor walked up to me and started a conversation. As he looked a little distressed, I invited him into my little spiritual oasis and offered him a cup of coffee. If You Love Me If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the love games we play, and in all aspects of human endeavors, maintaining positive relations with each other is a must, to live in harmony and peaceful coexistence with each other.The surest path to keeping good relations with our fellow humans is to know what their dos and don'ts are, and adhere strictly to the same. Relationship Advice: 4 Steps to a Genuine Apology A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment, forgiveness and repentance.1) ApologizeI've come to dislike the words "I'm sorry" because they're so easily said that they've lost their meaning. Frugal Ways To Show Your Love At one time, I would have never wanted to share my frugal ideas for showing love to those around you. My reason for keeping it to myself? At one time I thought that no one would be interested. Better Than Help One thing that women in abusive relationships and their family and friends frequently request is 'help'; help to change the situation. While I understand, and can relate only too well, to their sentiment, the term 'help' makes me feel uncomfortable. Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. Finding Your Feng Shui Power Spots for Love and Romance The first step in using feng shui to attract a partner or improve your love life is to find the relationship power spots in your home. Once you have located these areas, feng shui cures and enhancements can activate these areas and increase your love luck. What Makes The Ideal Man? Are you looking for the Ideal Man? While my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" will show you how to get him, have you ever wondered what the Ideal Man would be like? How should he spend his spare time, should he like sports, or shopping? Manicures or electronics? Well, in an online survey, The Harris Poll and Dodge Dakota asked 2,131 U.S. The Use and Abuse of Deception The word "deceive" is derived from Latin, de- away + capere to take, decipere to ensnare, catch in a trap.Deception is common human relationships. Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It 1. CommitmentTrue commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married. Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Resolve Conflict Conflict in a relationship is both normal and painful. In working with couples I have found that it's the successful resolution of the conflict that strengthens the couple's bond and brings them closer together. What Does It Really Mean When You Pass or Fail A Relationship Quiz? Q. It seems that no matter what magazine I am reading there is always some new relationship quiz being published.
|
|
