HOME
E-CARDS
WALLPAPER GALLERY
LOVEBUG STORE
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL
|
|
HOME |
E-CARDS |
WALLPAPER GALLERY |
LOVEBUG STORE |
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL |
|
|
Relationship ArticlesNeed advice on dating and relationships or tips on turning up the romance in your marriage? You'll find all kinds of helpful information here about love, romance, and relationships. |
Communication Is The Key To A Lasting Relationship
"If you are trying to find ways to lead a more fulfilled life, at some point the spotlight of your attention will fall on your various relationships - with family, lovers, friends and colleagues," stated Take Control of Your Life, one of the series in Time-Life Books. Relationship can bring great pleasure and satisfaction where they work and unhappiness when they don't. While some bless the day they meet their partners, others curse the day. Understanding when your relationships are working well and taking steps to improve them when they are not is an important way of taking control of your life. Let's go back to the basic. Before embarking on a relationship, one very important factor is deeply emphasised by relationship experts, clinical psychologist, spiritual guidance counsellor and modest-but-wise people who had found peace within themselves in the course of their existence. 'Love yourself, discover yourself and love that person you are.' You cannot give or receive love if you don't first of all love who you are. Those who are incapable of releasing love cannot get love. That is the law. 'In order to become someone else's soul-mate, you must first be your own,' says Drs Derek Hopson and Darlene Powel Hopson in their book, Friends, Lovers & Soul-mate. 'If you don't care about yourself, how can you develop a relationship where someone else cares for you. Unless you accept that you are worthy of good treatment why should anyone else believe it.' If you don't love yourself, discover yourself and know what you want from life and in a relationship, instead of you to be a partner or player, you will be played like a ball. This is truth and nothing but the truth. A relationship does not have to be perfect in order to work. However all good relationships have the same ingredients: common interest, good communication and compatibility sets of value help enormously in a relationship. Most importantly, in a good and happy relationship you are able to be who you really are, not the way you should or could be. And you allow the other person to be the same. This means that you are comfortable to talk openly about the things that are important to you and are clear about how you wish to be treated. It also means that you respect that the person is different from yourself and that you do not seek to change them. Loving a person the way that person wants to be loved is another basic ingredient of a good relationship. I once attended an advance relationship seminar in New York addressed by Dr John Gray, an internationally renowned relationship expert and the author of the 5 million-copy best seller, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Dr Gray told (us) the participants that one of the most common questions he is asked when a new acquaintance learns that he is a relationship expert is this: "What is the secret to making a relationship work?" Here it is in 10 words, he said, "Love your partner the way he/she needs to be loved." A fundamental way in which your relationship exhibits these basic ingredients is in your ability to communicate effectively with each other. That is the key to unlocking almost any relationship problem however severe. Communicate more, partners are told, and things will get better. Communication involves both talking honestly and listening attentively. This means expressing your appreciation of your partner in terms of your love and affections. It also means finding a way to air your difficulties, frustration and needs, however difficult this may be. And of course it means listening to and respecting your partner's thought and feelings too. Whereas women communicate in relationship, men don't. Instead men prefer to open up fears and frustration to the 'boys'. Don't blame us, this is the way we are raised. My advice to the womenfolk is: Be kind to us whenever possible. Soften us to open up. Convince us that we can trust you with our emotions and we shall open up. According to Drs Lonie Barbach & Linda Levine in their book Shared Intimacy, "Good communication in a relationship is similar to a solid to a solid foundation for a house. If a house is built with a strong foundation, it will be able to withstand the stress caused by such natural disasters as hurricane or tornadoes. Even if the rest of the house is damaged or destroyed, if the foundation is solid the house can be rebuilt." Relationship is like a flower. If well tendered and nurtured, it will grow well. This requires effort and commitment from the two parties involved because it takes two to tango and it takes two hands to clap. Arising problems are inevitable because problems are part of life. In fact the more the problems, the more you are part of life. The only place that I have been to where the people residing there have no problem is the cemetery and they are all dead! Dayo Olomu is a UK-based Motivational Speaker, Writer, Business/Life Coach, Trainer, Media Entrepreneur and Competent Toastmaster. His core belief is that we are all endowed with seeds of greatness, and his mission is to help individuals and organisations achieve their full potentials. He is the author of best selling "4 Indispensable Strategies for Success" and the President of Croydon Communicators Toastmasters. Get his FREE monthly Rise to the Top ezine by sending a blank email to subscribe@dayoolomu.com or visit his website at: www.dayoolomu.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Did Casanova Really Need the Oysters? Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent study of underwater creatures proves conclusively that oysters have certain properties that could very well enhance performance in the bedroom. Why Doesnt She Leave Him? It's very easy to look, from the outside, at another woman's unhappy relationship and ask: 'Why on earth does she stay with him?'It's especially easy if the man in question exhibits the subtle charm of Attila the Hun - or the social graces of Fat Bast*rd in Austin Powers. Some abusive men parade their hostility and prejudices as proudly as if they were merits. Relationship Advice: 4 Steps to a Genuine Apology A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment, forgiveness and repentance.1) ApologizeI've come to dislike the words "I'm sorry" because they're so easily said that they've lost their meaning. Fight, Flight, or Loving Action Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano?. Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Create a Vision for Your Relationship Many of us stumble into marriage and then continue to make it up as we go along. But relationships need much more conscious planning in order to be successful. Should I Stay Or Should I Go? It's one of the ways you can spot a woman in an abusive relationship. They ask themselves the question, time and time again, obsessively. Real Solutions For Combatting Extreme Shyness Most people experience some degree of shyness from time to time in certain situations. In fact, only about 7% of the population claims that they never feel shy. Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes we are the one who hurt another person we care about; sometimes we are the one who has been hurt. Does a Woman Want a Strong Christian Man? Most women say they want a strong religious man who believes in God, attends church and goes to bible study every week. Is this true? The answer is No if the man is a religious freak who consumes every waking hour brooding over the bible; engages only with non-secular friends; excessively attends religious events; and constantly scrutinizes non-Christian behavior, especially their partner. False Forecasts Lead to Matchmaking Hell False ForecastsThe typical methods for finding a partner are based on personality tests, psychological profiles, and our own evaluation of a potential partner.Most of the matchmaking techniques used on these sites are doomed to failure because the harmonious relationship forecast turns out to be false. Relationship Problems Begin With Poor Communication Many relationship problems often begin with poor communication. Many couples often feel that their partner should know what they are thinking and do not communicate their thoughts and wants to them. Pen Pal Romance We have all heard the wonderfully romantic stories of pen pals that wrote to each other for years without meeting because they lived hundreds or even thousands of miles apart. Some friend of a friend set them up as pen pals or she decided to write to some unknown soldier away at war. Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love... and Just Love Being in Love I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably mid or late 30s and younger.Usually one reports, "falling out of love" and is truly disturbed by this shift. Coping with Your Abuser How to cope with your abuser?Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers are ruthless, immoral, sadistic, calculated, cunning, persuasive, deceitful - in short, they appear to be invincible. Whats in a Kiss Just think of being in front of a warm cracking with you partner in your hands, with a kiss and a cuddle. But have you ever thought about why people kiss? It could be a greeting or a sign of affection, but we all kiss. Relationship Advice: 9 More Must-Know Tips for Couples The Law of Two QuestionsThere are two questions that couples must ask and answer:1) What do I want?2) How do I help you get what you want?The Law of Conflict, Part 1Much conflict is the result of failing to ask both of the above questions and/or an overemphasis on either one of the two.The Law of Conflict, Part 2Conflict is an inevitable part of being with someone. Nip Verbal Abuse in the Bud So often in a new relationship we learn the dynamic of the new relationship. This includes how you react together as a couple, with each other, and in group settlings. Gay Breakups: When the Rainbow Ends Introduction"It just hit me out of the blue when Mike left me. We hadn't really been together all that long, but I thought I'd finally found my true soul mate. My Life My sister is 45 and having an affair with an old boyfriend from her youth. She says she loves him, he loves her, and they wish to pursue a life together. Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner. Here is a 7-step process to create a change in your partner.
|
|
