HOME
E-CARDS
WALLPAPER GALLERY
LOVEBUG STORE
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL
|
|
HOME |
E-CARDS |
WALLPAPER GALLERY |
LOVEBUG STORE |
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL |
|
|
Relationship ArticlesNeed advice on dating and relationships or tips on turning up the romance in your marriage? You'll find all kinds of helpful information here about love, romance, and relationships. |
Relationship Advice: Closeness and Connection
In my work with couples, certain themes have emerged that can help us understand how a couple that was once close can drift so far apart. How couples drift apart 1) Life got in the way. Somehow, in the midst of the hustle and bustle of everyday life, couples seem to forget about each other. The initial closeness they once felt has been damaged by focus on work, the bills, the kids, you name it. 2) Each takes the other for granted. This can slowly eat away at any connection a couple might feel. What makes it worse is that it is so very easy to do. Keeping priorities straight in our stressful lives can be very difficult. We get so caught up in simply living that we forget about making a life with our partner. 3) Each stops treating the other well. Somehow we succumb to the notion that all the things we used to do that brought us together are no longer necessary. It's like the old joke about the couple that had been married for several years and one day the wife said to the husband, ``You never say you love me anymore!'' The husband responds with, ``Well, dear, I told you I loved you on our wedding day. If anything changes, I'll let you know.'' 4) Resentments are held. Old grudges, hurts and resentments are a cancer that can eat away at the closeness of a couple. 5) Communication stops. This is the most frequent reason given by couples as a factor in their drifting apart. Once a couple stops communicating, it's just a matter of time before the roommate syndrome sets in. If you recognize your relationship in the above examples, hang in there; you are not alone and there is a way out. Couples don't plan on growing apart, they simply drift apart over time. Just the opposite is true about growing closer again. You don't just drift into it, you intentionally take action designed to grow closer together. Here are some tips from the couples I've worked with that have helped them grow closer again. How couples can get close again 1) Have a conversation about how you first met and what first attracted you to each other. 2) Talk about the times you have felt the most connected. Then list the things you did that helped create that closeness. Then do those things again. 3) Mention something your partner did that you enjoyed. For example, "I loved it today when you gave me a break from the kids/ held my hand/ hugged me/helped me at the office, etc." 4) Discover what your partner's "love language" is. Do they most need to see it, hear it, or feel it in order to feel most loved? If you don't know, ask. 5) Ask your partner what their "perfect day'' would be like and then create as much of it as you can. 6) Renew and/or rewrite your vows. Who says we can say these important words only once? Renewing vows, commitments and words of love can rapidly and powerfully bring a couple closer together. These are just a few suggestions for the road back to closeness and connection. I would love to hear from couples about how they have made the journey back to closeness after drifting apart. If you would like to share your secrets, just drop me a line. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Romance Matters You are never too old and it is never too late to romance that special someone whom you love. There are so many things to do and so many ways to do it. Relationship Red Flags Do Appear Early On So often in the bloom of a new romance we set aside a few "minor" character flaws to let the relationship continue, where sometimes we really should just end it early, and cut our losses. I'll make a list of a few of the ones that often come up. What to Do when Your Family Feels He is Not Good Enough for You Parents and loved ones always seem to put a damper on our love life. When you feel that you have finally found the love of your life, the problem now becomes getting your family to accept your guy and see how charming he really is. Calming the Storm In Your Relationship IntroductionConflict in relationships is inevitable. Put two men together with their own sets of needs, values, personality traits, and life histories/experiences and you have a fertile ground for potential differences to cause clashes. The Power of Authenticity How "powerful" are you?Do you ever cover up how you genuinely feel? Do you ever say what you think you "should," say, based on how you want others to perceive you?Do you ever think you "should" be a certain way?Why?I'll share with you why I did in the past. I "thought" I "should" be a certain way, say certain things, act in the manner that I "thought" would bring me either the results I was attached to, or the acceptance of those I wanted. Why Doesnt She Leave Him? It's very easy to look, from the outside, at another woman's unhappy relationship and ask: 'Why on earth does she stay with him?'It's especially easy if the man in question exhibits the subtle charm of Attila the Hun - or the social graces of Fat Bast*rd in Austin Powers. Some abusive men parade their hostility and prejudices as proudly as if they were merits. Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims he loves you but can't marry you because a) his wife won't divorce him, b) his last relationship ended so painfully it nearly killed him, or c) he can't make a commitment until his kids are in college?Here's how to get unstuck:1) Understand that you have no control over the situation. You can't make a man love you the way you deserve to be loved, you can't keep him faithful, you can't force him to tell the truth. Dating Women From Russia: Important Tips The Marriage Agencies Never Tell You I want to share with you information that the Russian marriage agencies don't tell you on their web sites.Many of the dating agencies tout, how young Russian women are so family oriented and will make wonderful wives and family partners. Everything I Know About Relationship Success I Learned At The Playground It happened again!I was enjoying an evening with my little 2-yr. old son at the playground when, BAM, it happened. Dinner Scooped Off the Floor - Why Men Wont Commit "We strengthen a muscle by using it, and that is true of the heart and mind, too."---Danielle Crittenden"I just got an email from him and I need your help," was the first thing she said when I answered the phone. Live Like You Were Dying: Help for Overcoming an Affair In the recovery phase of my husbands last affair I was having a really difficult time letting go of the pain and offering forgiveness to my husband.I was doing a lot of work on "me", attempting to better myself so that I could get my self-worth back but none of that mattered when the triggers surfaced. Trust Starts with You "I have a hard time trusting people.""I never feel like I can trust my husband (or wife). How to Find Relationship Advice One thing to keep in mind when seeking relationship advice is that the relationship advice business is exactly that - a business, and a big business at that. It is important to be aware that there is a lot of bad advice available in the marketplace, a lot of poorly trained relationship counselors around, and a lot of poorly conceived and badly written books on the subject. Setting Boundaries: Business Clients and Boyfriends Setting boundaries is necessary in any human relationship.Whether you're dealing with an overly demanding business client or a boyfriend with wandering hands, sometimes you just have to say "No!"In fact, there are many parallels creating successful relationships with business clients and boyfriends. Love Relationships: Focusing on What went Right What's all the Hype about Love Relationships, Anyway?Love relationships are not what they're cracked up to be. They take real effort -- things like: admiration, commitment, dedication, devotion, forgiveness, encouragement, strength, inspiration, motivation, understanding, compassion, hope, desire, steadfastness, and so much more. Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? - How to fine tune your relationship radar I don't think a week goes by that I don't get a letter or e-mail from someone asking for help in making better choices in relationships.It usually goes something like this: "I keep picking jerks to date! I try to pick different types of people _ they might even look completely different from the last person I dated _ but they end up acting the same and treating me the same. Your Next Relationship - Heaven or Hell? We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and thought, "What was I thinking?'' Problem is, you weren't thinking. You based your decision strictly on chemistry and first impressions, and in the words of Elvis Presley, "That's when your heartaches begin. How Often do you Think About What you are Going to Say? How often do you think about what you are going to say prior to actually saying it? As a counselor, I have been trained to understand that working with Native Americans, there may be a quite a long pause before my client makes a response to something we are discussing.Native American children are taught through folklore, that they need to think carefully about the words they are going to use. Is Your Mate Cheating? You've been together several months, but something doesn't feel quite right with your partner. You start wondering if he or she might be having an affair. Conflicts Dont Have to Mean a Fight to the Death Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict.
|
|
