HOME
E-CARDS
WALLPAPER GALLERY
LOVEBUG STORE
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL
|
|
HOME |
E-CARDS |
WALLPAPER GALLERY |
LOVEBUG STORE |
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL |
|
|
Relationship ArticlesNeed advice on dating and relationships or tips on turning up the romance in your marriage? You'll find all kinds of helpful information here about love, romance, and relationships. |
Relationship Advice: The Me Approach or the We Approach
A husband and wife were doing a little redecorating and rearranging one weekend morning. They were having an especially hard time pushing a dresser through a hall way door. About to give out, he exclaimed, "As hard as we push I don't think we'll ever get this dresser out of the hallway!" To which his wife responded, "Out of the hallway!?! I've been trying to push it into the hallway!" Sound familiar? Feel familiar? Working together, or team work if you will, is such an important yet elusive part of marriage. What makes team work so elusive is our tendency to take the me approach to marriage. The Me Approach Always taking the me approach greatly undermines any connection with your partner. This is especially true if you are one of those folks who will try to do it their way no matter what. Here's a few warning signals that the me approach has a hold on your relationship. *The two of you cannot seem to come to an agreement on almost anything. *You avoid discussing major and sometimes even minor issues. *You talk to many people until you can find someone that sees it your way and then use that as evidence with you spouse. *You find yourself doing things just like your family did and you don't know why. *Each of you believe your way is not only the right way, it's the only way. The Team Approach Many people are on a lonely road due to the "my way or the highway" approach. In marriage, instead of my way, you have got to work on creating "our way." Here's a few tips for creating the our way - team approach: *Remember that two heads are almost always better than one. Marriage couselor Dr. Gary Chapman says "two people that are committed to solving a problem will always find a solution." *Remember that your partner has skills and abilities that you do not have. That's just the way this marriage thing seems to be set up. Honor them and use them. By the way, the dictionary defineshonoring as "to hold in high regard, respect, or esteem." *Always ask the AWIA question -AWIA stands for "Are We In Agreement?" *One the the factors that makes the team appraoch difficult is you sometimes haveto give up the right to be right. Easy for some, hard for others. Just remember that often in marriage you can be rightor you can be happy, but not both. *Very few of us marry someone with exactly the same style of doing things that we have. A key step in building a team approach is to "try on" the other person's style every now and then. There is usually a lot to learn. * Successful team mates (marriage partners) have clear goals about their relationship. They have discussed and are in agreement over what each of them would like to not only get out of the relationship, but sometimes more importantly, what they are committed to giving. I'll close with a story about a couple I'll call Mr. Neat and Ms. Clean. Mr. Neat could bath in a shower full of soap scum and not mind at all as long as the towels and soap were neat and in their place. Ms. Clean can have piles and piles of stuff scattered everywhere, as long as the piles are clean. The point is that this couple can have either a very neat and clean home or a real mess on their hands, depending on their ability to work together as a team. Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Guys Guide To Flowers We are here to help! With these helpful hints on flowers, you will feel more confident about choosing beautiful blooms for that special someone in your life!Something Simple & Sweet-Consider a mixed bouquet of daisies, lilies and wild flowers. This mixed bouquet is appropriate no matter what the occasion. Relationship Conflict - Blow Up or Blow Through Every now and then I hear a "relationship expert" say that they have never had a argument with their spouse. This is when I find myself thinking this person is either lying or certainly can't relate to me. Add Trust To Your Relationship Trust is something that is important to every single relationship you have. No matter if it is a relationship of friends, family, or even a relationship of lovers; trust must be there to make it successful. Love Problems Often times when a couple gets married, things get pushed off, or ignored. Earlier in the marriage, the sight-seeing, honeymoon feeling, and those fancy restaurant dates tend to decline. Great Relationships: How to Get the Spark Back Losing the spark - simply, if you will, falling out of love - is a natural and widespread phenomenon in long-term relationships.As a matter of fact, most of these relationships experience an ebb and flow that is quite normal and to be expected. African Dating - Pride and Ambition It is no secret that African culture is known for its pride. Most Africans do not have a problem standing up for their beliefs and causes, and are often ambitious when it comes to obtaining specific goals. He's So Loving (But He Has These Black Moods) It's strange how often abused women tell you how loving their partner is. Stranger still is that it usually happens after they have talked about extraordinary threats, behaviour or violence to which he has subjected them. Friendship Advice for a Shrinking Planet Ahh, friends. The people we pick up along the proverbial bus ride of life. The Sting of Infidelity Isnt that Bad! Right? Is it? 1. Sleepless nights are part of a victims' experience and they have countless reasons to toss and turn. Love and Life Lessons Recent events in my life have taught me that the best thing to do in any situation is just to love people. How can I be a better friend, a better Son, Brother or Sister,etc. Passion Drought: Turning the Fizzle Back Into Sizzle In Your Relationship; Part 1 IntroductionMany gay men in both short and long-term relationships report concern when the romance and passion in their partnerships decline or "dry up", leading them to question themselves and fear for the future of their relationships. An unfortunate consequence of this is that many men break up with their partners prematurely at this point, have affairs, or turn to some form of addiction to cope under the mistaken notion that something is defective or wrong in their relationships. Russian Brides - Who Are They? In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women have come to the USA and European countries by means of marriage and were unkindly labeled "Russian mail-order brides". But who are these women, really? Why are they prepared to leave everything behind, to go to an unknown country and live with an unknown man? Can a Russian bride really be a good solution for a Western man? We will attempt to demystify the phenomenon of mail-order-brides. Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. How To Open Up While Staying Safe When you've had your heart broken in a relationship, it can be difficult to open up to love again and entrust your heart to another person.Similarly, when your partner hurts you, it can difficult to open up and bring trust back into your relationship. Relationships that Work: How to Get Along with People Who Drive You Crazy Question: What % of your bad moods at work are caused by conflicts?Answer: About 80% (if you're like the typical person)Think about how those conflicts wreck your work: You slip into an angry or frustrated mood and suddenly your productivity takes a nosedive.It makes sense, then, that doing your part to strengthen relationships can boost your results: Fix the conflict, feel better, get more done. Finding Your Feng Shui Power Spots for Love and Romance The first step in using feng shui to attract a partner or improve your love life is to find the relationship power spots in your home. Once you have located these areas, feng shui cures and enhancements can activate these areas and increase your love luck. Frugal Ways To Show Your Love At one time, I would have never wanted to share my frugal ideas for showing love to those around you. My reason for keeping it to myself? At one time I thought that no one would be interested. Affairs: What an Affair Really Is and What an Affair Really Does We hear about it all the time - in magazines, on TV and among our friends:Someone else has had an affair and a marriage is falling apart.Our culture teaches that an affair is just something that happens in relationships, it's really not big deal. Relationship Advice: 9 More Must-Know Tips for Couples The Law of Two QuestionsThere are two questions that couples must ask and answer:1) What do I want?2) How do I help you get what you want?The Law of Conflict, Part 1Much conflict is the result of failing to ask both of the above questions and/or an overemphasis on either one of the two.The Law of Conflict, Part 2Conflict is an inevitable part of being with someone. Men and Relationships Ever since the women's movement began, women have empowered themselves through self-help books, classes, therapy, and TV shows such as Oprah, the Lifetime Network and much more. Women have been stepping up to the plate, taking responsibility for their lives, their jobs and their relationships.
|
|
