HOME
E-CARDS
WALLPAPER GALLERY
LOVEBUG STORE
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL
|
|
HOME |
E-CARDS |
WALLPAPER GALLERY |
LOVEBUG STORE |
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL |
|
|
Relationship ArticlesNeed advice on dating and relationships or tips on turning up the romance in your marriage? You'll find all kinds of helpful information here about love, romance, and relationships. |
Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
It's one of the ways you can spot a woman in an abusive relationship. They ask themselves the question, time and time again, obsessively. Actually, it's not the question that obsesses them so much as the answer. The hope is that if they ask themselves the question often enough, the answer will become the one they want. The desired answer is, of course,yes. Yes, they should stay because it will work out the way they'd like it to. Of course, there are good reasons for wanting the relationship to metamorphose into the Happily-Ever-After kind. Ironically, abused women are driven by their very desperation to invest far more in their relationship than their emotionally fulfilled sisters do. They do so, not least, because of their spiralling isolation and self-doubt. So a massive, draining conflict between emotion and reason ensues. Of course emotion wins the day for the longest time. 'The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of', Pascal observed back in the seventeenth century. It's a great quote. It's even made it onto a T-shirt. (My daughter wore one such through the autumn.) (C) Annie Kaszina 2005 In fact, how many of us have 'been there, done that and bought the T-shirt', metaphorically speaking, at least? And how many of us have muted the voice of reason by our persistent denial of it, for sentimental 'reasons'? Nobody can tell another person whether they should stay or go - although they may be sorely tempted. (The exquisite relief of telling a loved one that their partner is a cold-blooded reptile best returned to his dank swamp, can be a tough one to resist.) Equally, when the boot's on the other foot, it's not something you want to hear. The only perspective on the problem that counts is your own. If you feel ready to explore the same problem from a new - broader - perspective, it may be time to start asking yourself different questions. These are some of the questions you can ask yourself: · Over time has my relationship improved, deteriorated or stayed the same? · If it has consistently deteriorated, what grounds do I have for hoping for radical improvement? · Is my partner prepared to make a medium to long-term commitment to improving the relationship? · How am I validated and honoured in this relationship? · What would you choose if you really believed you did not have to settle for second best? Your answers should be self-explanatory. If you are looking for someone who will keep you on track and hold a vision for you while you learn to let your reason provide you with strength and direction, you may be ready to be coached. Annie Kaszina Joyful Coaching An NLP Practitioner and Women's Empowerment Coach, Annie specialises in helping women heal relationship pain and attract the relationships they want. Email:annie@joyfulcoaching.com Websites: http://www.joyfulcoaching.com, http://www.anniekaszina.com To order Annie's eBook 'The Woman You Want To Be': http://www.joyfulcoaching.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Put-Downs: The Whole Story What put-downs really areLet me begin by saying what they are not. Put-downs are not "harmless jokes. Relationship Advice: 3 Kinds of Love There are three kinds of love:love as a feeling, love as a decision/choice, and love as an action.The confusion of these three kinds of love is the cause of much needless pain and suffering. What Is A Boundary In A Relationship? You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary, but I do not know what it means. Boundaries are often mentioned in terms of relationships. Revenge - Serve It Cold! Whether you caught him in bed with the local bimbo, dumped him for being an uncaring twat or he's run off with a woman he met online, you're probably feeling angry, resentful and wanting revenge.Revenge may be sweet but before you dive in head first, ready to present Mr Up-For-Mongrel-Of-The-Year 2004 award with his well earned payback, take some time to consider the sour taste that humiliation, physical injury and a criminal record might leave. ARC of Understanding In relationship we all make mistakes and sometimes we are insensitive to the needs of others, especially those very close to us All this leads to disappointments and resentments. The answer to handling disappointments is understanding. Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don't need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn't matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain.You may feel that you can't stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life. How Do I Get Him or Her To Talk To Me?!!! This is a common concern in our society for single people of any age; how to make contact with someone that we like on a soft matter without being forward. The truth of the matter is that we have the opportunity to meet that special person everyday; at the bus station, at the grocery store, at church, at a class, at the gym, at the coffe shop, at the library. Lovers Quarrel One minute you seem like lovesick turtledoves teasing, laughing and giggling with all your might. Then a few minutes later, you begin yelling and berating each other and a lover's quarrel is already in progress. Whats Up With Unconditional Love? To tell you the truth, I'm a little disillusioned with the term unconditional love, lately. It's just not "natural". Gay and Lesbian Relationships America has a reluctance to accept relationships between people of the same gender. This reluctance follows a similar pattern to the hostility towards interracial relationships. Affairs: Advice for the One Who Strayed To the spouse who had the affair, it's time for what I call a multilevel apology.Anyone can say "I'm sorry," and it's important those words are spoken. I Want to Love Him... But Hes So Far Away Okay, who are we kidding. Long-distance relationships are not supposed to be easy, because then everyone would be involved in them. Moving On to Much Better Things After Leaving an Abusive Relationship Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, but being alone can feel worse. All your happily married friends are still happily married, and here you are suddenly single. How to Get Over a Breakup This is one of the most difficult parts of a love life to get over, it is how to get over a relationship break up. It is tough nursing a broken heart, and we all need a little help to get over this broken heart. 5 Ways to Tell Your Man You Love Him Telling your man that you love him is part of assuring him that he is special to you. But it is not enough to verbalize how you feel about your man. Energize Your Relationship By Celebrating Hoodie-Hoo Day February 20th What is Hoodie-Hoo Day and what does it have to do with your relationship? The answers may surprise you.Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day is a holiday (copyrighted by Wellcat. Relationship Problems Have Warning Signs Families are made up of individuals; men, women, and children. All members are interconnected. Love - Entrepreneur Style For many of us, love has become a distant ideal. Often, we don't don't even spend much time thinking about sharing our lives with anyone else. Can a Male and Female be JUST Friends? IntroductionHave you ever heard or have you ever seen, father-son; mother-daughter; husband-wife; boss-subordinates; brother-sister as a friend? Might be yes, but how often and how genuine. At the end of a day, the message is, "mein tumhara baap hoon, jo mein kahta hoon, who karo" (I am your father, do what I say). Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen After Wife Gets MBA "Hesh, where is your business plan?" It was a question I expected from my banker, but not from my wife. She tried to sweeten it by adding, "honey?" It didn't help.
|
|
