HOME
E-CARDS
WALLPAPER GALLERY
LOVEBUG STORE
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL
|
|
HOME |
E-CARDS |
WALLPAPER GALLERY |
LOVEBUG STORE |
FREE LOVEBUGMAIL |
|
|
Relationship ArticlesNeed advice on dating and relationships or tips on turning up the romance in your marriage? You'll find all kinds of helpful information here about love, romance, and relationships. |
Dangerous Relationship?
I will in this article cover some of my own experiences living with a person with a dysfunctional personal disorder of type borderline. I call these person BP (BorderlinePersonality) to make things easier. Why is it so hard to live with these people? What are the warning signals? What is there to do? At first this persons are very charming so it's very hard to detect these disturbances. I also want to state that each and every one of us has some kind of borderline in our selves. Most of us don't have it to such a degree though that it could be classified as an illness. Everything worked out fine for the first of couple of months and then suddenly BANG. The first emotional outbreak appears and you don't even know what hit you. I lived with a person like this for six years until I finally decided that enough is enough. We have two adorable children together that we both love more than anything on the world. The children have of course also suffered but I know that there are people out there in much worse situation others then mine. As a relative in a family with persons like this it can be hard and also embarrassing to take this up with somebody else since you have the feeling that no one really understands you. The last couple of years I was so deep in it that I truly believed that everything was my fault. Now, you know the saying "it takes two to tango" so I of course contributed to the situations and to the relationship. It did heart a lot finding out that I couldn't see this coming. So I had a big part of it naturally. One of the things these persons are an expert in doing is getting the partner to feel guilty about things even though this is not the case. Many relatives complain about the emotional and physical fights that they keep getting into with almost no way to protect them selves from it. Even though they know it's pointless to go into a fight like this it happens anyway. The most known sign of a borderline personality is their emotional emptiness. To be a relative is like filling up Grand Canyon with a water gun. The only difference is that Grand Canyon actually has an end. One other thing is "whatever you do is wrong". Do you recognize this? For a BP everything is either black or white there is no in-between. "You are either with me or against me" is also one of these statements you can hear. Ending a relationship with a borderline personality is hard it's like having a delicious pizza slice in front of you with lots of mozzarella cheese on it. No matter how far you try to take the slice from your mouth, the cheese "string" only gets longer and longer without braking. For you as a relative there is only one advice use knife and fork. As a relative be consequent at all times (this is very hard but it works). We all have a choice, mine was to simply get out of the relationship and move on. There are still moments of fights every now and then but I think since the relationship ended both of us and our children has gained a lot more than if we would have stayed together. There was of course times that where good in our relationship. Never knowing when the next outbreak would come took unfortunately away those moments. The first step for me to come out of this was actually to read and learn about BP. Maybe this article has the same impact on you, I sincerely hope so. I wish you all the best! Rate this article Oliver Troll
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Save Your Relationships (5 Easy Steps To A Winning Relationship) We all enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. Each person has a shopping list of hopes and expectations, secret demands he/she makes on their partners. 10 Clues of an Online Affair 1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Is It Love or Money? What do women or men want out of a relationship? I know I want a man who really loves me, and the feelings are definitely reciprocated. I want to grow old with someone. 10 Reasons Why Married Couples Grow Apart (Part II) This is a continuation of part one of this article which covered aspects such as communication, paying attention, affection and staying connected. We will continue to explore some of the underlying reasons why many married couples seem to be drifting apart and offer suggestions how to prevent or minimize these pitfalls. The Lies That Saved a Judges Life What is empathy? Many people confuse empathy with sympathy, but empathy is really much more. My dictionary defines it as "the quality or process of entering fully, through imagination, into another's feelings or motives. Like Father Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5, 2004I was married for 21 years to a man who enjoyed strip clubs, drinking, and his buddies. These things became important to him after we married, and part of his job as an undercover cop. Self Truth and Your Relationships Questions and AnswersHow can I learn how to be true to myself?If I can't control other people, how can I change the dynamics of our relationship? How can I recognize when to speak up and when to let it go? How can I know when I'm being true to myself or fooling myself? If I'm asking for something from my partner to improve our relationship and he or she doesn't change anything, what should I do?The AnswersHow can I learn how to be true to myself?There is only one way to know how to be true to yourself and that is getting consciously aware of your real feelings. Ask yourself how you really feel about the situation, the comment, the non-verbal communication, the action - no matter what it is, ask yourself how you feel about it. Are You Fit To Love? is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's face it, our relationships are extremely important. Are You Relationship Ready? So, you want to fall in love? You are certainly old enough and movingwell along your chosen career path. Many of your friends are either married or in committed relationships. Are all Men Unfaithful? "Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming, Dreamer!""We just can't commit to one person! I Loooove Women!""I can't help it! Women want me!""I almost went with this co-worker of mine years ago, and I feel some kind of regret today that I haven't done it?""Caroline, I have an active sex life with my girlfriend. Relationship Advice: Safety, Intimacy, and Fun When people come in for marriage counseling, they bring their own expectations. Some people expect the therapist to say one spouse is wrong and the other right. 10 Free Romantic Gifts Being in love does not mean that you should turn overnight to be an extravagant spender. Love is beautiful when it is simple and true. Rekindling An Old Flame Dr. Nancy Kalish, a psychology professor at California State University, Sacramento, is the only researcher of couples who reunited with former sweethearts. The Economics of True Love In the real world, can there be romance without finance? A common saying: No romance, without finance. But what does it mean really? After a little thought about it and a hard look at the big picture, we see that it actually derives from the fact that in the real world, there is actually some level of bias to any decision we make, including our decision to love or be in love. The Grammar of Good Communication No, this is not a rehash of primary-school grammar; nor is it adiscourse on the finer points of rhetoric!There are some practical points which can make a powerfuldifference in the efficacy of your communication -- whether onthe job, with your spouse or when you are among friends.What is "good communication?" Much of what passes forconversation is a play with two performers, each impatientlywaiting for the other to finish so they can declaim the linesthey've been preparing as the other is talking. Set Your Relationship Up for Success A quarter of thirtysomething couples are unhappy in their relationships, a new study shows. Just 51% of thirtysomething couples said they were "very happy" in their relationship, with the remainder saying they were "quite happy" but would like to see improvements. Love Advice: Let Fate Decide? One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love? What is its exact definition? Well, there can never be a definite answer. Everyone got his or her own answer to it. The Best Break Up Advice Extreme Breakup RecoveryMaximum Healing - Minimum TimeIf you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don't need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn't matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain, and use this breakup to your benefit.You may feel that you can't stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life. How a Three Letter Word Kills Good Relationships "You know, I really do love fish!" My friend Steve came up with this profound comment as we were about to tuck into the gastronomic offerings before us in a crowded downtown restaurant. I raised my eyebrows. American Women Really Don't Like You Any man who has dated Asian ladies who live in the United States, has witness the wrath, jealously and prejudice of American women towards Asian ladies. I know I have, as have many of my friends.
|
|
